zzz i'm so tired... don't know how long i can keep this mad rush up..

so much stuff has been happening, it's really making me drained.

i don't know how to meet you now, i'm not sure if i really want to know what happened between you guys. but from what you guys did, even though it's abt a year ago, it's really hard for me to believe in anything now. when your best friend and boyfriend betrays you right in your face, you just don't know what else to believe in anymore. especially when back in coffee bean i alwasys held you and supported you through your problems, the sleepover muggings and ice cream, the halloween dress-ups, all the anniversary presents i did, all the photos, suddenly everything seems like a blur.

i have so much to deal with alr, i really don't want to have anymore to think abt.

there's so much unsaid and unconfessed. even though i'm not sure how i'd react, i still think i deserve the right to know everything. what do you guys see me as? no one bothered to confess and apologise to me, i had to learn of it somewhere else, just like with joel.. you guys don't seem to respect me, as your girlfriend or best friend. i loved you guys so much.. it just doesn't seem fair that you both can lead such happy lives now, after dumping me aside.. part of me wants some form of vengeance, part of me is too dead and tired to do anything anymore.

did you guys ever thought of how it might affect me? i doubt so..

so many pieces falling into place now, but still so many gaps. i need to know..


kaela @ 12:44:00 PM